$5

For the low price of a five spot, I will Photoshop your head onto any body you like.

$10

For a tenner, I will create a Facebook cover photo in the style of your choosing.

$20

For twenty, I will sing thirty seconds of any song you like and post it for all to see.

$50

For fifty I will sing an entire song of your choosing while wearing a wig or silly hat.

$100

For one hundred I will turn you into an animated GIF and make you Tumblr famous ( *fame not guaranteed ).

$150

For one fitty I will dress up as the Doctor (9, 10, or 11) and ask you to run away with me ( *within 30 miles of Menlo Park ).

$500

For five hundred I will dress in drag and do the hula at a location of your choosing ( *within 30 miles of Menlo Park ).